My Violin

The violin is torture. It makes me grit my teeth and wish for it to be over. I hate when it sounds like fingernails on a chalkboard and makes me grimace and shout in frustration because it pains my ears to listen to it. I hate to practice because when I pick it up, it makes me sick just thinking about all the pain I’m about to go through. It makes my fingers ache when I push them down onto the fingerboard, and often I find cuts on them from the strings. It frustrates me when I pull the bow across the strings and a squeaky, terrible sound comes out when I’ve practiced thousands of hours on trying to make it sound beautiful. I hate when I’m shut up in a hot, smelly room practicing my instrument and at the same time watching out the window and longing to be with my friends having a great time in the sparkling sun outside. It seems almost as if the violin is a torture instrument, invented to cause grief and misery. I dread having to practice the violin each day. I procrastinate playing it as long as possible. Eventually, though, I must play it each day to survive the weekly lessons with my teacher. The violin is painful. It is torture. It is a punishment. 

But how can I hate the violin? Something always brings me back to it each day. Maybe it is the beautiful, intricate design, or possibly the expensive, golden wood it is made from. It could be the soft, careful hairs crafted into the bow. It could be the music it makes. Oh, the music it makes! A single note will make my heart leap for joy! I play the violin and I am in heaven. The sound is like nothing ever heard before. It is elegant and graceful and exquisite. The joy of creating such a sound is priceless. That is why it is worth it to endure everything else that comes with the violin. The hours of dedicated practicing and stressed rehearsals are nothing compared to the happiness this instrument brings! The art of pulling the bow across the strings takes talent! It takes diligence and enthusiasm. Not anyone can create that amazing sound, that glorious, engaging resonance. That is why so many people work at the violin. They want to be a part of something so amazing.

Playing the violin cannot be a chore, practicing it cannot be something to be checked off a list. It must be a journey. It must be a constant rehearsal. There needs to always be that song playing in the head. It needs to sink in, not just to the skin, but penetrate the heart. The violin must be a part of the very soul for it to work its magic. The increased amount of time spent practicing and practicing it will increase the charm and lovely sound it offers.

Then they ask, why do I call the violin torture? True, it is pain. At first, the sound is repulsive. But after hours and hours of practicing this matchless treasure called a violin, finally it begins to obey and give off the music freely. I call the violin torture because of what it takes to make the ultimate sound I wish for. I hate the journey to perfecting my playing. It really is painful! (Read all about it in paragraph one! ) But there is no equal to the final masterpiece. It is magic. It is beauty. It is heavenliness. It is powerful. It will and has changed lives.

That is why I love the violin. 

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Last night when I wrote this, I didn't realize that anyone would actually read this. I understand that this is a public blog, and virtually anyone can read it. I just didn’t think anyone would be interested enough to read a girl’s unprofessional, amateur writing. Apparently, my mom was interested in what she had seen my writing last night, and went back and read everything I said about my violin. She wasn’t happy.

“Do you want to quit the violin? Because if you don’t want to take lessons anymore, that’s perfectly fine. I don’t want to torture you….” She said.

Great. Maybe I didn’t make myself clear. I LOVE the violin with a passion! Even though probably not many people will end up reading this, I don’t want anyone to walk away from reading this thinking that the violin is torture. I completely encourage anyone and everyone to play the violin. I think my choosing to play the violin is in the Top 5 best decisions I have made in my entire life! It has changed my life for the better and enhanced my happiness. I love to play the violin (and piano….) more than almost anything else I do in the whole world!!!!

So mom, if you are reading this, the violin is not physical pain. It isn’t actual torture. I meant it as an expression. Not improving is like torture for me. If I work at something for a long period of time and don’t see any improvement in myself or my playing, I get frustrated and feel tortured. Picking up the instrument does not literally hurt. It actually feels good! I love the thought that when I pick up my violin, I get to play it and have at least an hour of pure joy. I said it is painful because of my own emotions. When I don’t progress, I get mad at myself. It is not the violin itself that hurts. It is my own emotions that pain me when I feel like my practicing is a waste. But really, I know my practicing is never a waste. Each day to make my playing positive and encouraging, I tell myself this: “As long as you keep practicing, this is the worst you will ever play.”

I’m sorry if I did not make myself completely clear before. I really do love the violin. I love it I love it I love it I love it and I would NEVER say that I hate it or want to quit. It is beautiful and brings me blessings and joy.

I love the violin.